Death to all Vacuum Cleaners

If I ever invent something, it will be a green bomb that specifically targets all vacuum cleaners. I want to commit genocide on those evil machines. I will be Adolf Hitler to the vacuum cleaners.

A more rational idea would be for me to invent a vacuum cleaner silencer that is cheap and affordable. That way everyone can buy it without waiting for their vacuum cleaner to konk out while the "silent vacuum cleaner" phases in. Instant gratification is something we all seek.

It all started...since a long time ago. Every time someone pulled out a vacuum cleaner, I would run to the farthest corner of the house in relation to the dreaded vacuum cleaner's position. If I was stuck, I would stick my fingers in my ears until it was over. That hatred for vacuum cleaners reached its pinnacle the past week when  my sister woke me up by turning on the TV and forgetting to close the door. As the TV murmured its way into my disturbed and fragile psyche, pain ballooned in my cerebral cortex. And it wasn't just a normal, sledgehammer pounding headache. It was missile launching kabooms; New Year's fireworks echoing around the tiny confines of the grey matter that is my brain.

My nerves have been fried from the intensive study for the HSC. Hence, I am pretty sensitive during the mornings. When my mom walks in and out of the room cleaning up after my sister, I hear every, little thing. The squeak of the door, her footsteps, the swish of her clothes...yeah. It's okay if she does it once in awhile, but when she does it frequently...it multiplies and adds up, contrary to the theory regarding the photoelectric effect. But I can take it, because hey, that's everyday life, and it's my MOM. I'm not yelling at her. I'm not even gonna say she's wrong, let alone tell her to stop doing anything. So MOM + sister = frazzled nerves

Just when I'm at the peak of being frazzled, my dad pulled out the vacuum cleaner. MOM + sister + vacuum cleaner = World of Pain. I had instant meltdown and a torrential nosebleed. I haven't had a nosebleed since I stopped eating the oh-so-yummy but unhealthy/heaty M'sian food. Which means I haven't had a nosebleed in three years.

I just want this HSC to be over. I am done with it. Done with vacuum cleaners. Fine. Finito. When this is all over I'm moving deep into some remote jungle. No communications, no man made noise-making machines; just me and nature. Pure bliss.

Cheers!
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